Sri Ramakrishna Math : The Vedanta Kesari, June 2003

There are a few principles to be put to use to allow integrity to manifest. Practice of the first three is universal because one's actions affect others, and the last three, personal to oneself. Unless one has the awareness of a self-esteem/integrity one cannot restrain oneself, having no standard to refer to. If the person is taken care of in this manner the personality will take care of itself. This is an inside-out approach, which leads to sure result in our attempt to develop our personality.

(i) To grow sensitive to others' pains. It is the understanding that as I suffer from pains both mentally and physically, others also suffer in the same way. Sri Krishna says: that yogi is the best who, by comparison with himself, âtma-aupamyena, feels others' suffering as his own. We may comprehend that inflicting physical injury on others can be detected and avoided with a little effort, otherwise the laws will punish us. But it is difficult to turn our back on hurting others by thought and word. Because it is a very subtle act of enjoyable cruelty for some people. And this is caused by a cruel mind. Does it do any good to such people? Let us listen to Swamiji to know the consequences: 'We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care of what you think. If matter is powerful, thought is omnipotent. Every vicious thought will rebound, every thought of hatred which you may have thought, will come one day back to you with tremendous power in the form of some misery here. If you project hatred and jealousy they will rebound on you with compound interest.'

Misusing the authority of a position and taking advantage of others' modesty, people hurt others with words and innuendoes. This is cowardice at its worst. Such behaviour is least expected from people who enjoy authority. Some people muster authority by virtue of their quality and again some are given it. However, a person with authority is expected not only to be obeyed but also to be revered by others. On the other hand, such a practice of hurting others does not do justice to one's own integrity and to the integration of a group. Naturally, persons in command are required to observe a great amount of austerity in the form of self-control. Sri Krishna, the Lord, uses the term 'Râjarshi' to name the people whom he, as the original teacher, chose to teach the applied science of the Jnâna Yoga (the Gita, 4th chapter). The kings (Râjâ) wielded power. So when they were given this knowledge they purified themselves with the austerity of Jnâna (Jnâna-tapasâ putâh) and earned the appellation of 'Râjarshi'(Râjâ and Rishi in one). Now they were fit not only to hold power, but also to handle it safely for the benefit of the Lord's own creation.

Austerity (tapas) implies that one (tapasvi) has to absorb many odds with the idea that they are done by common people who are easily tormented by the complexities of work. A saint once consoled an admirer, saying: 'Do not expect extra-ordinary behaviour from ordinary people.' He must have spoken this well-tested truth very painfully. If people fail to maintain their poise in testing situations, then they cannot rise above the level of the 'ordinary'. In spiritual context, such people seem to labour hard, but are like those who row the boat while it is anchored. For a graceful solution to this disease let us learn to use the words or phrases like 'sorry', 'excuse me' and 'how can I compensate you' meaningfully. This learning helps us to develop a special trait of expressing our skill of co-operation and inter-dependence. It is relation-oriented and based on the dynamics of personality image.

The skill of co-operation comes from the proper use of our talent to love without haggling. Sri Chaitanya and Narada make a difference between kâma (selfish love) and prema (altruistic love), though the word prema itself can mean both. Deep in our psyche there is a feeling called kâma which upholds self-gratification; it does not inspire love or prema which is an action, not expectation, on the part of the person who possesses it. Love does not wait and evaluate, but goes out spontaneously. The equation is somewhat like this: when we expect love to flow only towards us, it is called kâma; but when love flows out from us spontaneously, it is called prema.

(ii) To accept our own dignified existence to be an unquestionable Truth. Anything short of this is a lie, which we cannot relish unless we deny the truth about ourselves. It is defining ourselves from within, not through others' opinion. If an untruth could be practised harmlessly, then we should not have objecton to our own people telling lies to us.

A serious consequence of disbelieving our inner truth is felt when it affects mutual living. People try to suppress 'omissions or commissions' in respect of codes or norms for the peculiar reason of self-preservation. We are afraid to acknowledge the flaws in the expression of our integrity. We believe mistakes are 'sins'. Unfortunately, we have developed a peculiar idea of 'sin' and not of 'mistake'. 'To err is human, to forgive Divine,' and we can also add 'to sin is devilish'. If we are humans, we are prone to 'mistakes', and not to 'sins' that befit devil's children. If we forgive mistakes, we are children of Divinity. Admission of our limitations, in other words, of our ignorance about our own inner resource, is the first step in our education. Thoreau's question in this respect is significant, 'How can we remember our ignorance, which our growth requires, when we are using our knowledge all the time?'

Inferiority complex is born of the fact of denying this truth. As a result, we come to depend on others. To overcome this thralldom, one should stop, inter alia, using the phrase I am not able to. Our words are the expressions of our own inner state of evolution; that is why they are so important. Bringing out the weight of one's words, Arjuna tells Sri Krishna, 'You have yourself told me so (svayam chaiva bravishi me).' It is like our own confession. We may remember how Sri Ramakrishna exhorted Swamiji saying: 'What! You won't be able to carry it out [the Herculean task of fulfilling the earthly mission of the Mother]? Your very bones shall do it.' The essence of self-respect is that it teaches one to depend on one's own self. He/She then asserts saying, 'I shall do it.' Emulating the style of the Upanishads Swamiji exhorts, 'Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creator of your own destiny. All the strength and succour you want is within yourselves.'

(iii) To expect a proportionate result of our labour. Sri Krishna says: do your work without a desire for fruits thereof. Acharya Shankara says: do not do desire-prompted work which produces impermanent result. Swamiji says: One has the right to have a desire for work and for its fruits also; but the expectations should not be disproportionate. We should not aspire for a result for which we did not labour, which we do not deserve. Do we intend to pay more money to a labourer than the minimum wages? Don't we drive a hard bargain to buy a thing? A disproportionate expectation is a greed that is born of excessive desire. Siddhir bhavati karmajâ, i.e., success comes through just labour, physical, or intellectual. Let us learn to satisfy ourselves with the word 'enough' (Cf. the Gita, 4.22, yadrichchhâ-lâbha-santushtah).

(iv) To desist from wasting our physical and mental energy. Moderation in eating and in recreation, in sleep and in vigil etc. is necessary to protect us from draining out our own energy. The concept of giving importance to 'the nourishment of the body' (shâriram kevalam karma) as the first step even in spiritual life, shariram âdyam khalu dharma-sâdhanam, is not a Charvaka doctrine. Some people feel dismayed to see that many are bothered with small diseases like cough and cold etc. They under-estimate the practical impact of these seemingly insignificant sufferings, which cause unnecessary strain, for at least a week, on one's spiritual practices, or routines of daily life. Rather, one should not bother about serious diseases, because it should be others' botheration. One cannot do anything about a serious disease oneself. But one can take preventive care against small ailments. Similarly every small waste of energy should have to be taken care of.

As for the mental energy, it is wasted through frequent irritation or impulsive reaction to trifling situations. This trend reveals lack of our inner control and poise. This may be due to our focusing on the negative aspect of a situation at the very first instance or due to diehard doubts in our mind. One who is affected by such mental disturbances spoils the peace in one's immediate surroundings. Sometimes even the mere news of an impending situation, which is yet to happen or may not happen at all, upsets us beyond decent proportions. That is why it is said that a person who has no connection with the turmoil of work should not necessarily be mistaken for one with astounding inner poise. The Gita says that those people are great in this respect, who, in the midst of trying situations, are able to keep their poise undisturbed. If both physical and mental energies are happily combined in one's life, one will acquire tremendous power of character and an admirable personality.

Generally, we are given to understand that physical strength is a brutal power, unless it is harnessed properly. And those who are physically strong are believed to have less control over their mind, and, therefore, can be provoked easily. But the Mahabharata and the Ramayana present an interestingly different picture. They record the examples of people who were very strong physically but, at the same time, possessed the strength of a controlled mind. Before engaging themselves in mortal fights they would abuse the opponents calling names etc., move violently, and bluster about the superiority of their own strength to their opponents. The laborious excercise was required to warm up the opponent for the fight. Such was the quality of composure of mind mastered by those warriors. It shows that in those days, strength did not mean physical strength only, it was accompanied with mental strength also.

We quote Swamiji here to understand the true process of acquiring harnessed physical strength: 'There are laws, very fine, which are behind the physical laws as we know. We see a man take up a huge weight, we see his muscles swell, and we think muscles are powerful things. And it is the thin thread-like things, the nerves, which bring power to the muscles. These tiny nerves bring the power from something still finer--thought. So it is the fine that is really the seat of power. We can see movement in the gross; but when fine movements take place we cannot see them. If we can get control over the fine movements, if we can get hold of thought at the root, before it has become thought, before it has become action; then it would be possible for us to control the whole.'

The scriptures say that one can control irritating emotions through the practice of concentration, and meditation with its preliminaries. Neuroscience today is at the threshold of proving the efficacy of mindfulness and meditation in removing stress and strain, and providing lasting solutions to many psychosomatic diseases. The art of mindfulness and meditation is now widely taught to patients in hospitals and clinics throughout the United States and many other countries.

(v) To have a thirst for knowledge, about ourselves, about others and about the vast universe we live in. This way the limits are transcended and the possibilities discovered. We should do it because we are interested in others' appreciation of our personality. It expands our horizon, removes stagnation and dogmatism born of ignorance. By this we will be able to appreciate and respect others' ways of life and working. They say travelling is the immediate source of knowledge. Those who move on do not become a cesspool in the sense that they become more and more universal adding to their knowledge many customs, food-habits, ways of interaction with people, etc., and above all, they are rid of a frog-in-the-well syndrome.

(vi) All this will change our attitude towards our own selves, towards others and towars our environment. We will be able to act with the help of our own resources, at our own choice. Swamiji observes, 'Nothing makes us work so well at our best and highest as when all the responsibility is thrown upon ourselves. When we have nobody to grope towards, no devil to lay our blame upon, no personal God to carry our burdens, when we are alone responsible, then we shall rise to our highest and best.' Gandhiji has said, 'They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.' This reveals a sense of initiative, responsibility for our lives without depending on the circumstances. When such people, not others, meet with success (as they are sure to), they become a source of inspiration for others. Generally, crisis-preventers are proactive people, crisis-managers are reactive people, and crisis-breeders are inactive or over-active people.

Integrity is like a refinery in which crude experiences are absorbed and refined as finished products. Every situation presents very crude happenings. People of integrity do not assess any incident at face value: they absorb the first shocks of it with poise and understanding, refine it with sympathy, and give out the finished product of love and justice. Suppose my friend comes to me greatly agitated, and starts abusing me. If I am a man of character, I shall never take his wrath at face value. He is my friend; he is angry. Anger is a disease. So at this moment he requires my help. I would hear him patiently, and with this understanding try to find out how I could help him in that particular situation. Suppose he says that I am the cause of his distress. Then in course of cordial talks he might discover that the whole thing is due to a small misunderstanding of his. This strengthens our bond of friendship and he comes to appreciate me as a reliable friend. This cannot be explained with the help of Newton's law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That is the law about the physical universe. But to be human we should not follow 'an eye for an eye' theory. A person with self-discipline alone can be an impartial observer to a very explosive situation, and act judiciously.

These, in short, are a few ideas about personality development. A developed personality stands tall as a beacon. There would be no need to call out to others to come and witness such a developmental phenomenon in us. How ridiculous it would be to think that the flowers are running after the bees to say: 'Come friends; we are in bloom!' The Chhândogya Upanishad assures us saying that with the manifestation of the personality we will emit its lustre and become renowned in the world [cf. prakâshavân asmin loke bhavati, a person becomes renowned in this world; 4.5.2]. And then the much-coveted appreciation comes of itself, unexpectedly: 'O good looking one, you shine verily like a knower of Brahman,' thus spake Haridrumata Gautama (the Chh. Up, ch. 4) to his disciple Satyakama.