Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi used to say, 'Whatever you may do, you have to give everybody in the household due attention and consult their opinion. You have to grant a little freedom and watch from a distance so that nothing may go very wrong.

For instance, while I am sending presents to Radhu's house I take counsel from Nalini also. [Radhu and Nalini are nieces of Holy Mother.] The relation between Nalini and Radhu's mother is that of the snake and the mongoose -- one does not see anything good in the other; and the other does not so much as tread on her shadow. But when I make a list of things to be sent to Radhu, I take Nalini as my guide and say, "See, Nalini, what things you like; select from this list and tell me." Then she carefully goes through it, says with regard to the list I make, "How can these things suffice, aunt? Howsoever they may deal with you--and as for Radhu, she is as good as mad, having no sense at all--you have surely some dignity; why should you be so illiberal? You do just as it befits you." She speaks thus and makes the list longer.

I laugh inwardly. If I should send the present there without letting her know the two will at once begin to fight a battle of Kurukshetra over that matter.

Mind you, one has to give some freedom to each and lower oneself a little.